This is me, raw and exposed

Here I sit hovering over the bar preparing for a clean and jerk (75lbs), knowing I have to bang out 10 reps, 3 times. My brain is all over place; it's hard to stay focused (thinking about challenges at work-HP, thinking about Boot Camp clients and what their needs are, thinking about SICFIT and how it's transforming my abilities)... Oh, oh ya, back to the task at hand. Coach Zach is repeating skills I need to focus on as I go for the first lift. Before I get the bar overhead I'm dizzy and my breathing is short. I jerk the bar overhead and Zach reminds me what I need to change in order have proper technique. Yes, I seem tired today. I have to believe it's my new diet (all fats, protein and little "good" carbs). If you want to read more about it check out Kurt Harris. I'm a huge follower and do a lot of trial and error with his recommendations which have been a huge positive impact on my health.
Forget about being tired, GET IT DONE! I continue with the lifts (10) and continue to mentally change my technique with every lift, but the actual output is not there. My breathing is off, my power starts too early and I'm lifting with my arms. Urghhh! I continue my running Grace with a sandbag nervous to come back to the lifts. I beat myself up and push myself to get it together and just do it. It's not changing. I can't believe after 3 sets of 10 I'm not making progress. I'm standing there with other coaches giving me pointers and techniques while I think to myself, "you're not a natural at this". "You can't just walk up and think this is going to happen in one move." I only started this a few weeks ago. What do I expect? Perfection! Here I sit raw and exposed; I'm not perfect, I don't know it all, I can't do it all, I make mistakes, I have weaknesses, I have limitations, I am NOT perfect. I share this as I know so many clients and friends have experienced this feeling during physical and emotional challenges. We think we have the answers or we have the ability to overcome the challenge at hand, but sometimes we aren't equipped with the necessary tools at the time and we have to be OK with it. Today I embrace patience and acceptance. It doesn't mean I won't overcome my weaknesses or limitations, but I will allow myself the time to learn, grow and develop while enjoying the journey. I've stepped out of my comfort zone. Won't you?


“In order to go on living one must try to escape the death involved in perfectionism.”Hannah Arendt